We finally received the I-20 forms from SCAD yesterday, sent via DHL in the night. Praise the Lord! Even as each hurdle that came our way in relation to the US trip was overcome by the Lord, me of little faith can scarcely see any part of our future after Jun 06. We leave on a morning flight on 31 May 06, and will not see Singapore for at least one and half years. In fact, I'm not even sure that we'll ever see it again for that matter, since we'd actually bought a one-way ticket to Savannah with absolutely no spare cash whatsoever to fly back. I can't believe I'm typing this, but it's true. We have possibly just enough to live through the year or 2 in Savannah, but I don't really know for sure that we will! Hahaha, gosh, I don't think I should think about it too much. It wouldn't help to increase our wealth just by thinking about it.

In moments like these, I recall past sermons from Pastor Lin Yi Zhong, whose sermons I had previously listened umpteen times just to have a good laugh. He was so funny about his walk of faith with the Lord in the area of finances. He'd shared how he pressed on the ATM to produce money that he did not have, believing that God can create the impossible. Later, he was to learn that this was not the way of the Lord. He'd talked about how he had tithed his money, and how the Lord blessed him exactly 10 times the amount he tithed a week later, just enough for his rent. He had said that he had no money to live in Australia, and had no money to fly back. He'd lived day by day, believing in God, trusting Him to bring in the finances. And the Lord was faithful to bring in the money through blessings of cash that would come his way in miraculous ways. An old beaten-up bicycle with only 2 speed gears was stolen from him only to be restored with an almost brand new 10-speed gear bicycle. He'd told God that if it was His will that he came back to Malaysia, that the Lord will provide the money for his flight. And true enough, even as he sat in the travel agency, waiting for the agent to ask him to pay for his ticket, and wondering how he was going to tell the man he had no money to pay for the ticket, the miracle unfolded before his very eyes. Someone had already paid for him. He never quite knew who paid for it, but no matter what, he now stood years later, in Malaysia, preaching God's word, constantly singing and making melody in his heart about the Lord's goodness and mercy.

I'm truly grateful for the testimonies shared to strengthen the faith of others that might have to go through similar situations. I, for one, am now, seriously in need of such faith preaching. I must say though, that despite all the future that I cannot see, if I sat still and searched my spirit, something keeps telling me I'll be alright. The Lord keeps saying, how would I ever leave you untended in the wilderness? Yes, Father, you have never let me alone all these years. I've been so secure, whether or not I knew You were beside me. You had taken care of me.

Pastor Prince's sermon a couple of weeks ago was exhorting us to be filled with hope. For hope is what gives rise to the exertion of faith. Without hope, there can be no faith, for faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Wow, I never saw it that way. We must have hope in the future, otherwise, we cannot even exert our faith to believe in our hopes. I think Pastor Prince has outdone himself once again! Such revelation, seemingly simple, but somehow, I don't think I ever got it through my thick head :). Oh I love that sermon, HOPE. Yes, I will continue to hope for the better life that I believe the Lord meant for me on earth.

I thank God I'd listened to both Pastor Prince's and Pastor Lin's sermons and allowed the seed of faith to settle in me. A very small seed no doubt, but it'll grow, I believe, even as I know that the Lord wants to teach me many things about His ways in the US, where I'll be "launched into the deep" as Eileen keeps telling me at almost every caregroup meeting. Yes, I'll be completely out of my comfort zone. No family, no friends. Just Don, me and hopefully, half a dozen sermons filled to the brim in the depths of my brains, to allow me to call on the Word of God as I need to in every situation. Hmmm...No, that doesn't sound quite right. Why do I distant the Lord like that? Actually, the Lord will bring His presence with us every where we go too, but yup, as usual, me of little faith, does not think of the Lord being WITH ME, in the very first instance of such uncertain futures. Sorry Lord!

Sometimes, if I allowed my mind to linger on the what-ifs, I really could die of what-if-itis, as Pastor Prince coins it. Can't think of a better term than that, really. If-only-itis and what-if-itis are really seeds of condemnation that eat into every part of our souls. No, I shall not have that happening. The Lord has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. I think I'll need to arm myself with these sermons to remind myself daily that He that is in me is greater than He that is in the world, and that He will guide me with His eye. Ooh, how I love those words. Hmmm, like a sanitising peace that transcends beyond understanding when we call to remembrance His all-powering hand over our lives. No harm shall befall us. Amen!